Hallucinating Accountability

Is there a grievance you're still carrying around? A moment that still grinds you? Maybe it was a leader who hung you out to dry, a partner who disappeared when things got difficult, a betrayal you never fully resolved.

You know the feeling. It lives just below the surface. It's so hard to let go of, and every now and then something brings it back up.

Here's what might be counterintuitive: the reason why it's difficult to let go is not because it's unresolved between you and that person.

It's because letting go requires you to let go of the version of yourself who feels wronged.  

Being the-one-who-was-wronged is a seductive identity. It gives you a sense of righteous power. But that version of you has to die a little for the next one to show up.

Years ago, a senior leader I trusted betrayed me in the kind of way that makes you lie awake at 2:00 AM rehearsing arguments. (And I was once a lawyer, so there were some doozies.) My wife listened. Then she said: "Sweetie, just let it go. You're on a good path, just keep going. I don't know when, but I promise you, this will come back on him. And you wouldn't want to be him when it does." She was right on both counts.

I found myself leaning on that advice again recently. We discovered that an AI coaching company has spent the last year using our trademarked name, The Accountability Dial, as well as the coaching framework I built my reputation on over the last decade, without permission.

They swapped a few adjectives, dropped any attribution, and wove it into their marketing. For a decade now, I’ve allowed coaches, consultants, and organizations around the world to use and reference The Accountability Dial framework in their programs (with integrity and attribution). That's exactly what you hope for when you put something real into the world. This was not that. After we pushed back, they took down the public-facing violations.

I never thought I'd have to say this but: Ren is the only AI platform with the legal right to use The Accountability Dial. The world genuinely needs many voices talking about accountability; that's not the issue. The issue is our brand and the integrity to honor others' IP in what is a very small industry.

Was it important to protect our rights? Of course. We're fortunate enough to have built something worth copying. But like it is for me, I suspect it is for you with whatever grievance you’re holding onto: the best response isn't anger, or holding out for what you feel to be justice. It's letting go and building forward.

That's actually what Ren does for the leaders who use it. It meets you in the conversation you've been avoiding—it helps you find the ones you don’t even know you’re avoiding—and guides you through them to find the right next step. Sometimes, that means a specific action to hold someone else accountable.

But after 25 years of deep work, what I can tell you is this: there is never a situation, never-not-once-ever, no matter how clear it is that fault lies with the other person or group, where it isn't worth looking inside yourself and reflecting on who you were in that moment, and how you can learn from it to get ever-closer to who you know you are.

That’s where you’ll find the liquid gold of transformation.

I hope you enjoy a restful weekend, and a Spring Break if you’re taking one.

Thanks for being here,

Jonathan